Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Ignorance and OBC's

Ignorance is not always bliss..or so I have decided. Since I was adopted as an infant (I was three weeks old), I thought that the only birth certificate I ever had was the one I have carried around with me my whole life. The one with my ap's as my parents, my city of birth was where they resided at the time, the doctor was a friend of my amom's, the hospital was the one my amom worked at, and my name, of course, is what my ap's chose for me.

Until I came across Christina's blog and started talking to her, I was pretty clueless about anything and everything surrounding adoption and my rights as an adoptee. How sad is it that at 33years old, it finally comes to my attention that I have a real, original birth certificate locked away in a undisclosed place downtown?! Anyway, like I said...ignorance is not always bliss.

As a child, I do remember thinking that it was strange that everything on my birth certificate was a lie. My ap's were always very open about the fact that I was adopted...you know, all the basic stuff. I knew where I was born. I knew the situation that led to me being placed for adoption. I knew the name that my nmom had chose for me. I knew quite a bit (or so I thought). But ANYTHING that had ANYTHING to do with me finding my mom or relatives was always vague. I remember my amom telling me that I should never try to find my nmom because she has moved on and has a life of her own. She said if I tried to find her I could cause a lot of problems for her and her family. All I knew was that my adoption was CLOSED...that was it. I didn't know any better.

Now, all that has changed. Thanks to my amom's unintentional intervention, I now know who my natural mother is. I now know that a lot of things I was told growing up were not completely true. I now know that there is a document out there detailing my arrival into this crazy world and I want it.


  1. I remember feeling the same way. I felt like something had been taken from me when my birth certificate didn't actually have birth information on it. No one ever asked me if I wanted my own information sealed; I remember feeling violated.

  2. As a mother, well, honestly, I feel like something was taken from my daughter when I found, and really realized, that her birth certificate was not only not hers, but not honest. The adoptive parents had the birth certificate amended to reflect not only them as the biological parents, but changed the hospital as well. I still feel as if they stole something from her, who she is ...something...

  3. I linked back to the post you referenced and I wanted to share that I had stillborn twins at 26 weeks. This, after losing my only son to adoption years earlier. We are thankfully reunited and in a great relationship. He is my only child.

    I appreciate your perspective because he is navigating the negativity of his afamily towards me and our reunion. It helps me tremendously to know we are not alone.

  4. @Angelle~thank you for sharing. I hate that we have that in common. However, I am glad that you and your son have a great relationship. :)