Saturday, May 15, 2010

The beginning

Now, my parents are not your average couple of the 70's. My mom was a nurse, and at the time they met, my dad worked for the state at a correctional facility. My dad's aunt, a little elderly Christian woman, was in the hospital and my mom was her nurse. She adored my mom and wanted her to meet my dad. Through my dad coming up to the hospital to visit his aunt, he got to know my mom. They didn't hit it off at first, but over time they fell for each other.

Now, have I mentioned that my parents are not the average couple of the 70's? They eloped in June of 1975 and had a small ceremony with a preacher and their best friends. They eloped because they knew their families would not be supportive of their decision to marry. Why not?, you wonder. My mom is black and my dad is white. Of course, their families had a very difficult time adjusting to this reality at first but over time they learned to accept it.

My parents were a little older when they got married, so they decided to start having children right away. Due to ovarian cysts, my mom lost a baby and was told she would never be able to carry a baby to term. After learning they could not have their own biological children, my parents chose to adopt. They went through the state, filling out applications, home studies, etc. Needing a break for a while, they decided to go on a vacation. Little did they know, after just a few short months, their case worker had already found them a child. The case worker called them to tell them that they had a baby girl, but could not reach them. The case worker eventually called my grandparents to get in touch with my parents. When my parents found out, they were ecstatic. My mom said that when they got home, they went straight to Sears and bought every baby thing imaginable. They could not wait to meet me.

A few months, even back then, was a very short amount of time to wait for a baby. In a small town, not far from my parents, my life was playing out. Two high school sweethearts were expecting a baby together. Their situation was similar to my parents in that they too were a biracial couple. My birth mom was white and my biological father was black. My birth mom had planned on keeping me through most of her pregnancy. She unfortunately did not have the support that she needed for herself or me. The situation went from bad to worse. She was told she would be on her own to raise me if she chose to keep me. She had to make a decision. She chose to give me a life she knew would not be possible for her to give me on her own. She made a choice that changed her life, my life, my parents, and everyone else that would be a part of our lives from that point on. She made the decision to relinquish her parental rights and have me placed for adoption. Since my parents were a biracial couple, my caseworker knew that they would be the perfect parents for me.

I was 3 weeks old when my parents met me for the first time. My mom said I had colic, thrush, and a bad diaper rash. I had been placed in two different foster homes for the three weeks before my parents got me. My mom didn't think I had been cared for real well. She wasn't very happy about it. She said that there was a waiting period where my birth mom could get me back if she wanted. I can't remember the exact time frame. My mom said she was very nervous during that time because they had instantly fell in love with me. When the time frame had passed, they finally relaxed and were so happy to have their baby.

My parents were contacted by the state when I was a few months old about another child. They had a little boy (2 years older then me) ready for adoption, but did not have a family for him. My parents started the process to adopt a big brother for me. Meanwhile, unbeknown to them, my mom was pregnant. She was able to carry my little sister to term. In a matter of 15 months, my parents had 3 children...ages 3, 1, and newborn, 2 adopted, and one biological. 5 years later, my parents were 'surprised' with my little brother, another biological child my mom was able to carry to term. My parents had their family.


  1. Wow! I can't imagine going from no children to having 3 babies in such a short time! I recently discovered your blog, finally have a chance to read it from the beginning.


  2. I'm brand new to your blog, which I found through Christina's, The fact that your parents sound like they're just about my age really caught my eye - my husband and I are one of those 70s couples, too ;)

    I'm an adoptive mom of two children, both in college and both of whom are Korean. Looking forward to reading more!